Aimm 姻緣工程創辦人 Tiliane Wang
Founder of Aimm – Tilane Wang
Covid-19 迅速蔓延的疫情對任何人來說，都是始料未及的情況。根據眾多公共衛生學家的預測，在未來的數年內在醫療、旅遊等各方面都很難回到 2018-2019 的情況。因此不可避免的，我們每一個人都將要迎接一個後 Covid-19 的全新生活型態。
The Covid-19 pandemic is an unexpected situation for everyone. According to the prognosis of many public health officials, it will be difficult to return to the pre COVID situation of 2018-2019 for the medical, tourism and other sectors for the next few years. Therefore, it is inevitable that all of us will have to adapt to a new lifestyle during and after the pandemic.
『當生命給你又酸又苦的檸檬，你可以把它變成又甜又好喝的檸檬汁。』如果「後 Covid-19」 的生活是不能避免的挑戰，現在疫情尚未穩定、國際商業活動稍微緩和時，正是開始適應並把自己調整成後 Covid-19 的最佳時刻。
When God gives you a lemon, make lemonade! “When life gives you a sour and bitter lemon, you can turn it into a sweet and delicious lemon juice. If life after Covid-19 is an unavoidable challenge, it is now when the pandemic is not yet stable and international business activities have slowed down, that is precisely the best moment to start adapting and adjusting yourself to post-Covid-19.
During the period when the virus is still spreading, everyone is under considerable mental pressure. On the one hand, we have to worry about the risks to health that they and their family members may be exposed to. On the other hand, they have to worry about the recession caused by the slow down or cessation of economic activities due to the pandemic.
When one sees the headlines of “large-scale cost cutting” and “unpaid leave” on the news feeds, even if it did not happen in your own company or industry, you would still be concerned and feel worried that without an economic recovery in sight, that cost cutting and retrenchments would be like a domino, and that it could happen to yourself sooner or later.
Maybe we are all too used to trying to behave like mature adults, and do not complain or like exposing our weaknesses. So we tend to bury our worries and fears, and not make time to talk about it. Over time, such psychological pressure will not only affect the individual’s health, but could also affect his or her relationship with others.
If the biggest worry in your mind recently is related to the pandemic, the best advice I give you is to “talk about your troubles.”
相較於過往的個人感情問題、工作狀況甚至是令人難以啟齒的身體情況，疫情引發的焦慮其實不是你個人獨有的狀況。疫情升溫的新聞鋪天蓋地的從各種媒體湧上，朋友們間也時不時聽到被減薪或放無薪假的消息。群眾的情緒其實一直隨著疫情的發展忽高忽低，連幾天的零確認發布後臉書及 IG 充滿慶祝的訊息都說明了『這次不是只有你一人在面對』。
Compared to past personal emotional problems, work conditions, and even difficult physical conditions, the anxiety caused by the pandemic is not just unique to you. The news is inundated with updates about the pandemic, and you have heard from friends of them experiencing pay cuts or unpaid leave. In fact, everyone’s sentiments have been fluctuating because of the pandemic. After a few days of zero new cases, Facebook and IG ’s celebratory message was that “this time you are not alone.”
一來是讓自己的情緒有個宣洩的出口，二來你有機會從不同的角度去看目前的困境。可能聊完才發現自己的情況其實沒有想像中的來得糟糕; 也可能聊完之後反而發現，除了現在的生活外，彼此可以擦出更多的想法及火花，來準備迎接未來「後Covid-19」 的生活方式。
When encountering difficulties, knowing that you are not alone can provide a certain degree of security. Having positive emotions can help us avoid avoiding excessive and intense reactions in the brain. With a sense of security, I would recommend that you further share your concerns with friends whom you trust.
Firstly, you release your negative thoughts and emotions, and secondly, you will also have the opportunity to look at the current situation from a different perspective. You may find that things are actually not as bad as you thought after talking it through; you may also stumble upon new ideas through the conversation.
During the pandemic, getting along as a couple could also be a challenge.
Couples living together are finding that they are spending more time together due to a decrease in social activities; couples who do not live together may not be seeing each other as often. It isn’t the frequency that is the problem here – it is that the frequency is changing. Adapting to the change is the problem. One might complain about their lives being disrupted and being forced to change.
But I always tell couples if adjusting to such a change affects you, then perhaps now is the time to reflect on your relationship. Once a couple have developed a routine & stable lifestyle, there can still be a sudden change of situation. From wedding preparations, to having to address the opinions of relatives and friends, or an unplanned pregnancy – change and unexpected situations are just part and parcel of your routine in life.
When a couple is facing such a huge unexpected event like this pandemic, I suggest that you take the opportunity to observe your other half’s attitude and treatment towards you in this time when there is pressure and uncertainty. From the handling of one’s emotions to the tone of communication, you can reflect on your partner’s values and ability to handle various scenarios that might happen in the future. If you encounter a situation that you do not understand during the process, express how you feel and talk about it.
Because everyone’s life experience is different, you may not understand your partner’s logic of doing things, just as you may not understand his decision-making approaches. Rather than trying to figure out why and what his thought processes are, it is better to start establishing a way of communicating by being direct and talking about it.
就像前面有提到的 Covid-19 是一個群眾一起面對嚴峻情況。在這種情況之下，其實你們兩個之間就有了一個共同的敵人- 病毒以及連帶產生的不景氣。通常在兩人有共同目標或共同敵人的時候，就是雙方感情最好的時候，所以現在正是與對方建立共患難夥伴情感的最佳時機。
As mentioned earlier, you are not alone in this pandemic. In fact, as a couple you now have a common enemy – the virus and the recession that will be associated with it. When two people have a common goal or a common enemy, you can build on this in a positive way and strengthen your relationship with each other.
Regardless of whether you are ready to face the post-Covid-19 era, everyone is on this path together. If you happen to be in a role or organisation that has been negatively affected by the pandemic, now may be the best time for you to take time out, take good care of yourself and the relationship with people around you.
|During the Pandemic||After the Pandemic|
|To my partner||
CAREhER Wellness 總監 – Vicky
CAREhER Wellness Director – Vicky
新冠狀病毒的來襲，讓民眾人心惶惶。當我們學會勤洗手、戴口罩、保持良好衛生習慣、增強身體健康與免疫力外，我們是否忽略到「內心防禦力」呢? 心理學中有個名詞是「負向認知偏誤 (negativity bias)」，意思是人們習慣對負面資訊的記憶深刻，例如：確診與死亡案例數字的增加、病毒變異快速、醫療資源不足等。
The pandemic has made everyone more paranoid about hygiene of oneself, of others and of public spaces. When washing hands frequently, wearing masks, making an effort to enhance physical health and boost immunity become entrenched habits – are we ignoring our ‘inner defense’? There is a term in psychology known as ‘negativity bias’ – meaning that people disproportionately remember negative information, e.g. number of diagnoses and deaths of COVID-19 cases, the rapid mutation of viruses, insufficient medical resources.
Although all these are factually true, the ‘negative cognitive bias’ that is at play might not be something we are aware of as we adapt to this new normal. We might still be wary, even as there is positive news of the number of patients cured, that the pandemic is slowing down, and that governments have taken effective measures to keep the pandemic under control. Our accumulated anxiety can mar our judgement of reality.
Psychological changes after the pandemic
The pandemic has resulted in turbulence and uncertainty – in the economic situation, for world politics and trade relations. This affects not just small businesses or multi-national corporations, but also the employee at all levels as well as entrepreneurs. There is definitely a sense of:
- Anxiety caused by the unstable economic environment
- Fear of not knowing what the future will be like
- Uncertainty about self-survival
We should not let ourselves fall into a downward spiral, but should try and adapt quickly. The ability to adapt and respond effectively to sudden crises can make the body and mind stronger, and one more resilient to future unexpected changes in life.
疫情雖然讓人們少了許多出門在外的機會，卻也多了可以跟自己相處的時間。把握這段期間，去思考人生真正的本質，去思考對妳來說，生命的意義與價值是什麼? 進而體認(realize) 生命的有限，而妳又該如何把握有限的時間，做真正重要的事。瑜伽、靜坐冥想、呼吸練習、運動等，各種生活化的正念(mindfulness)練習，都是安頓身心靈的好方法。越動亂的時刻，妳要越靜。
Nourish your mind & body
Although the pandemic has made people less likely to go out, on the upside, you have more time to spend with yourself. Make good of this alone time to think about the nature of life, what it means to you, and what you hold most important. Life is precious and incredibly fragile – so make the best use of time, always.
Yoga, meditation, breathing exercises – find a way to practice mindfulness, as that is a good way to nourish your mind, body and soul. It will help quieten the noise in your mind, help you find your focus, and strengthen your overall well being.
擁有這個理解後， 我們才能學會，身而為人「不需要」也「無法」掌控生命的全部。反倒是應該學習活在當下，感受臨在(presence)的喜悅，並且適時騰出時間、空間聆聽宇宙的訊息與引導， 才能找到自己存在的真正意義與價值所在。
Self-Compassion: Surrender control, do not be afraid to show vulnerability
Nature always finds its way of fighting back – and with just one virus, our lives have completely changed. When life is going smoothly, we tend to take things for granted, but this one virus alone has been sufficient in shutting down the world. However, this gives us a chance to press the pause button, and for us to realize and acknowledge the fragility of life.
We learn to prioritise and appreciate what is most important. We learn to live in the present moment, feel the joy of the now, and make time to find the true meaning and value of one’s existence.